I could do without the Marilyn Manson soundtrack or Mark Whalberg, but the trailer to Max Payne looks pretty cool. Especially when Mila Kunis fires a semi-automatic weapon without recoil. She must be strong.

• Bossip: Queen Latifah plans to adopt
• Drunken Stepfather: Katie Lohman is in a charity bikini
• Bastardly: Eva Mendes does Sydney
• Celebslam: Naomi Campbell got hooked up
• Asylum: Fantasy football vs fantasy babes

• Celebitchy: Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze?
• FHM: Go back to school with Camille Mana
• CoEd: Sex ed with Casey Parker
• Holy Taco: The face palm collection
• College Humor: A Nickleback re-interpreation

• CS: Faith Evans opens up about B.I.G. affairs
• SOW: Sofia Vassilieva’s hair is growing
• Popoholic: Elizabeth Hurley looking old
• Attuworld: Apparently, there’s a sub-culture of butts on bikes

Kevin Spacey has long been rumored to be gay by everyone even though he hasn’t officially come out and there’s never been any reports linking him to anyone to suggest he is. He could be androgynous like Clay Aiken for all we know. Still, there haven’t been reports linking him to women either.

In any case, these pictures from the Croatian site 24sata might lend some credence to the “Kevin Spacey is gay” rumor. They show him slapping some guy’s bare ass. A lovely poster from ONTD translated the main points of the article which were Kevin was drunk in a club in Croatian slapping a man’s half naked ass, he might have been smoking a joint and he didn’t want to pay his bill because he’s Kevin motherfucking Spacey so the waiter had to chase him down.

It must be nice to be a gay celebrity in Hollywood. It’s not as hard to find a guy because you can just fly to another country to manhandle the locals. In this case it’s Croatia where the drinks flow freely and the men appear to shave their asses, which I take is a very much appreciated gesture.

Who says Jessica Simpson can’t act. Here she is in concert showing a wide array of facial talent. I’ve compiled a list of expressions she made. See if you can match the number to the picture:

1. I had Taco Bell the night before face
2. BJ face
3. I’m in deep thought face
4. Bitter beer face
5. Your grandpa is an old fool face

Blake Lively showed up at The Late Show With David Letterman wearing just a dress shirt. What was she wearing under the dress shirt? I hope it was nothing because that would fuel my fantasies for seconds to come. If I’m lucky, possibly minutes.

The National Enquirer reports that goofy looking Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps and American Idol contestant, Carrie Underwood, have planned their first date after days of texting. No details on where they plan to go, but it will probably be a non-eating affair.

“I’m not so sure you’d want to see me eat! It might not make a great first impression.”

“Carrie needs someone who is going to stick by her,” a skeptical pal of Carrie’s revealed to the National Enquirer. “She was devastated when her relationship with Tony Romo broke. The last thing she needs is a relationship with another high-profile celebrity who’s going to end up loving and leaving her.”

Yea, yea. Carrie’s “feelings”. Whatever. More importantly, did you know Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day while training? His breakfast consists of:

— three fried egg sandwiches with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions, and mayo
— one five-egg omelets
— a bowl of grits
— three slices of French toast with powdered sugar
— three chocolate chip pancakes
— two cups of coffee

For lunch, Phelps drinks 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks, one pound of pasta with tomato sauce and two large ham and cheese sandwiches (with mayo) on white bread.

For dinner, Phelps’ meal consists of six to eight slices of pizza, another pound of pasta with tomato sauce, and 1,000 calories of energy drinks.

This is otherwise known as the “Britney Spears Diet.” Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

• Pajiba: The Longshots - It’s a longshot I’ll ever watch this movie
• UseMyComputer: Alizee is back
• WIMB: J. Lo not perfect
• Hollywood Rag: Jack Black can’t fart as well as a computer

• Hollywood Tuna: Vida Guerra, buttaface
• Celebparasite: Kellie Pickler is a bum
• AB: Gratuitous insincere Tom Cruise doesn’t know his own job
• TC: Tranny Face loves Obama

In an interview with horror website Icons of Fright, Tuesday Knight, who starred in A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master and an episode of X-Files says Gillian Anderson was a bitch to her.

Let’s talk about X-FILES because you did an episode. I love X-FILES, but I honestly only consistently watched the first 4 seasons and then after that, I’d catch random episodes. So, you were in “Trevor”, which was a Season 6 episode. What was that experience like? I hear David Dochovny is a prankster on set? Is that true?

Uh, he is, and he is wonderful. But the woman is a nightmare!

Gillian Anderson?

Yes. She was the nastiest woman I’ve ever worked with on anything. I almost walked off, and the reason I didn’t was because of David, because he was such a doll. And of course the money. They were giving me good money to do it. Gillian was like, “Oh, you’re the guest star this week? Oh, I don’t sit with guest stars. No, I’ll only talk to children guest stars.”

I mean, unbelievable. I’m in a scene with her, and we’re walking out the door and it was really cold where we were. So, I just say, “God, it’s really quite chilly.” And she looks at me and goes, “I have no idea what you think is chilly or what you’re talking about. Or any concept of you.” And I just looked at her, nodded and said, “…Great. Ok.”

In Gillian’s defense, Tuesday who? I’d be pissy too if a commoner tried to make conversation. I’m 1/2 the star of X-Files! What makes you think you’re allowed to speak to me?! Then again, maybe Gillian is afflicted with a disease that doesn’t allow her to feel hot or cold. That Tuesday Knight. What a bitch. Rubbing Gillian’s nose in her hot/cold feeling ability.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson both blasted Michael Lohan yesterday for talking about LIndsay to the press in order to get attention. Michael responded yet again calling Dina a two-face. Today, Michael sinks to a new low. His father just passed away and he’s using his death to prove how horrible a person Dina is.

“My father just, literally, died in my arms. I notified all my kids and my lawyer notified Dina’s attorney. Let’s see if she has the decency and respect to bring my kids to the wake and funeral.”

“THIS will show her true colors! Thus, not even a call. But that’s par for the course with Dina! She didn’t even send a card or visit when he was sick.”

Michael’s dad won’t be buried or cremated for at least two weeks. His decaying corpse still has some media mileage left in him. Five days from now Michael will issue another statement to the press furiously proclaiming he has received nary an inquiry from Dina about funeral arrangements and that his dad has “really started stinking up his house.”