Well, sort of anyway. The Jackson family originally planned to charge the public $25 to attend Michael’s memorial service at the Staples Center next Tuesday. However, the bad publicity forced them to cancel that plan and hold a lottery instead. Fans will be able to register online for the chance to win one of 17,500 tickets to the viewing.
I, for one, am glad the Jackson family isn’t turning this into some sort of media circus. Oh, wait. If they’re doing this, they might as well turn Michael into a marionette and have him do one last performance. I think people would be touched by that.
And not just the role reversal problem of Jessica Biel no longer getting her period while Justin Timberlake is starting to get his. No, I’m talking about a relationship problem. They’ve been dating for two years but the last time they were spotted together was in May.
“Things don’t look good for them right now — they’ve hit a really rocky spot,” confides a source close to Timberlake, who adds that serious problems began back in February during a boys’ trip to Las Vegas.
“Justin had to leave dinner once because Jessica was calling him incessantly. They got into a huge screaming match over the phone about how she’s always ‘checking up’ on him. She’s extremely needy and is always keeping tabs on him.”
Well, I’d be worried too since he’s goddamn Justin Timberlake. As soon as he sits down, girls come over to bury their faces in his crotch.
But Jessica isn’t only needy says the friend, she’s also one of those girlfriends.
“All his friends think she’s really annoying,” added the source. “She’s always trying to be one of the guys. She and Justin have no chemistry.”
Justin’s friends are big pussies. They’re probably just pissed Jessica emasculated them during touch football. It’s not very manly to have a girl sit on your chest and make you slap your face with your own hand while asking, “Why are you hitting yourself. Why are you hitting yourself.” It’s arguably less manly to whine about it to the NYDN.
Sources say Justin is in London right now taking a break from Jessica. Don’t worry though, Jessica is an excellent tracker. She’ll find him. I mean, the last thing she said was, “The hunt… is on.” She sounded serious.
Ask any woman and they’ll tell you Vanessa Minnillo has a pretty decent body. Ask Vanessa and she’ll tell you that’s true for the most part except for her abs.
“I always have problems with my abs, especially when I see these women who have beautiful, sculpted abs,” she groaned to Tarts at last week’s launch party for Reebok’s new Easytone sneakers. “My parents are like ‘you’re a woman, you’re supposed to have babies, you’re supposed to have a womb,’ but I cannot tone them for the life of me, so that’s my trouble spot.”
Celebrities. They’re just like us. And by us, I mean you. I can take no part in your generalizations. Because my abs are sculpted to perfection. If Leonardo DaVinci saw me shirtless, he’d ask me to strike a pose so he could draw me.
Kudos to Film Drunk for finding this clip of Ben Affleck in this episode of Lifestories: Families in Crisis where he plays Aaron Henry, a steroid abuser. You kids should learn from Ben and not take performance enhancers. Not only will you be thrown into an uncontrollable rage which causes you to punch out a girl, but you will also then punch a hole through the wall, break a chair, dislocate your shoulder, have over dramatic flashbacks of yourself during football practice and be plagued by an inability to act for the rest of you life.
A rep for the CW says Rumer Willis will be playing Gia, a “punky cute lesbian who isn’t afraid to speak her mind,” on the latest incarnation of 90210.
I can’t decide whether this is really good casting or really bad casting. On the one hand, Rumer looks like a true, non-glamorized lesbian which gives her role the realism often lacking in other shows featuring lesbians. On the other hand, I don’t like seeing ugly people on my TV.
It’s been maybe a month or two since Kim Kardashian was last photographed in a bikini doing things. That was obviously unacceptable so here she is rectifying — more like e-rectifying (zing!) — the situation. Not exactly sure what this is for or whether they’re staged candids or not. Although, it does look like one of those ads for mail-order brides. You know, the ads that show them cleaning your house in the nude or cooking your favorite meal in lingerie to trick you into buying them. And once they arrive, all they do is sit on the couch and eat Twinkies and get fat. Oh, god. Why didn’t I read the return policy?
