Justin Timberlake

Get ready to rock that body. Justin Timberlake, aka the White Usher, is back with a new album in the fall. Entitled FutureSex/LoveSounds, it features the new single SexyBack. All cds are purported to come with grammar-free booklets. Other singles to follow include TastyTummyTuck, BubbleButt and CreepyManByTheWindow. Yes, yours truly finally got a shout-out.

We hear if you play the album backwards, Cameron Diaz will reveal the secrets on going from a talentless nobody to a talentless superstar. Cry me a river indeed!

Expect panty sales to go through the roof this fall. Ka-ching!