Heath baby!

Remember back when Heath Ledger was sprayed by the Australian paparazzi at the Sydney premiere of Brokeback Mountain? Now his father is saying that after he was sprayed, Heath “burst into tears” and “cried all night”. He then sold his property in Australia for $7 million and ran away to live in the US permanently. Most likely because our paparazzi respect famous people.

First, if I was Heath Ledger, I would make sure the paparazzi never caught me wearing my snazzy red dress and pumps while being sodomized by Michelle Williams. Then, I would have a little “chat” with my father. This “chat” would be me telling him that if he ever tells someone I cry again, he would be in a home faster than I orgasmed at that donkey show in TJ.