Nicole Richie at the beach

When I saw these pictures of Nicole Richie at the beach I thought, “yea yea, another underweight socialite”, but then I had an epiphany. What if Nicole Richie was emaciated not because she believes men are attracted to women who look like they’ve been in a concentration camp for 10 years, but because her acting abilities on The Simple Life have landed her numerous offers for film roles.

It was my job, nay, my duty as a serious reporter to investigate further. I worked ’round the clock over the weekend talking to numerous Hollywood insiders trying to figure out what role Ms. Richie could have gotten that would force her to look like a scarecrow. It was very trying at first, but eventually with some elbow grease and charisma, I worked my way into the inner circle.

What I discovered blew my mind. The part that Nicole Richie landed could very well be her ticket into the elite group of Oscar winners. If any of you have seen Christian Bale’s The Machinist, you may have an inkling of what I’m talking about.

First, let me show you the pictures in question.

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I was fed some information on the project. One tidbit is that it is biographical in nature. I was also told that the film delves deep into this person’s psyche and has taken an emotional toll on Nicole Richie. It is drama mixed with some lightheartedness.

I wasn’t satisfied with these paltry facts, so I carried on in hopes of finding something a little more juicy. I was able locate someone with a large amount of pull. The catch was I had to trade my body for information. Were these open sores worth it? Hell yes my friends, hell yes. What I got in return was more than I could ask for. I receieved a short cut of the film and this is what I’m here to show you people. I feel that this could very well be one of Hollywood’s picks for an Oscar nomination. Nicole’s transformation is absolutely amazing. Without further adieu, here it is.

You can catch Nicole Richie’s acting debut in 2007.

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