Colin Farrell

After checking himself into rehab, Colin Farrell has been dry for six months. He credits his three year old son for a new found appreciation of life. Why it took him three years is beyond me, but I guess if you use this many drugs and drink this much alcohol in a week, you’re bound to lose chunks of time.

A psychiatrist asked him to write down how much he did in a week – 20 ecstasy tablets, four grams of coke, six grams of speed, half an ounce of hash, three bottles of Jack Daniels, 12 bottles of red wine, 60 pints and 280 cigarettes.

But one of the most bizarre claims came from veteran British actress Dame Eileen Atkins. She claimed that Colin spent nearly three hours begging her to sleep with him – three weeks before her 70th birthday. She turned him down.

Contrary to what those liars at the retirement home say, I’ve never begged a 70 year old for sex, but I’m still young. With a lot of hard work and determination, I think I can make this a reality. Then I can finally say I did something Colin Farrell could never do.

If you’re anticpitating Miami Vice, then here are a bunch of clips from the movie.