ESC

Someone has seen Suri

Fellow Scientologist Leah Remini claims she has seen Suri Cruise. She describes her as a beaming baby who looks just like Tom and Kate. If these two want to squash some of the rumors floating around, they’re going to have to come up with something better than sending a minion to blurt out prepared statements. I want to know the facts like if she is limbless or if she acts ambiguosly gay like Tom Cruise does. Does she continue to suck on her mom’s teat even though there is no more milk? Without pictures, I can only imagine she looks like the baby from Eraserhead and if you’ve never seen the movie, take my advice, don’t.

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