Nicole Kidman

A rep for Nicole Kidman claims photo agencies are doctoring her photos. A mag called New Deal paid $20,000 for pictures of Nicole Kidman looking pregnant. According to the rep, they got gyped.

“Afraid they wasted their money,” Kidman’s rep, Catherine Olim, told The Scoop. “[Kidman’s] not pregnant.” Olim pointed out that the star wouldn’t be “shooting a film, traveling to Rome for another film, then shooting ANOTHER film if she were” with child.

“Incidentally, I’m virtually certain paparazzi are distorting photos to make her look pregnant,” Olim added. “I’ve seen her, she’s her regular slender self.”

Since I went to college, I have learned that the most obvious explanation is most likely true. Therefore I have deduced that Tom Cruise’s leftover seed made contact with Keith Urban’s penis and as a result, Kidman now has a belly throbbing with excitement. It’s true, I learned about it in biology.

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