Anna Nicole Smith

Soon after the news that Anna Nicole Smith married Howard K. Stern in the Bahamas, comes a shocking revelation by ET. These two weren’t married at all. They were united in an officiated commitment ceremony…a commitment before God “to be each other’s strength during this difficult time”.

“The event was intended to be totally private between two adults deeply in love with each other and needing simple reassurances that they could count on one another through life’s ups and downs. The outing was never expected to be shared with anyone other than Howard, Anna, [her newborn daughter] DANNIELYNN HOPE and a few close friends and family.”

For those wondering how this is different from an actual wedding. Well, first off, no marriage certificate was issued. Second, these two are going to Hell. Third, no one really cares. Anna could have anally fisted Howard on that catamaran and still not an eyelash would be batted.