Justin Timberlake makes me sick

Justin Timberlake has no plans to marry Cameron Diaz. Not because he’s screwing groupies on a constant basis. It’s because he doesn’t want to “put an end to their rampant sex life.”

It’s kind of sweet Justin will date people with deformities. Having acid thrown in your face is hard enough, but finding an eligible bachelor like Justin is a feat in and of itself. What’s that you say? She was born that way? THERE IS NO GOD.

Here they are scurrying from a restaurant. The less we see of Cameron Diaz’s face, the better off we are.