David Banda gets protection

Madonna has given David Banda the infamous Kabbalah red string bracelet. No one yet knows where this bracelet derives its powers from, but it protects people from

the unfriendly stare and unkind glances we sometimes get from people around us. Envious eyes and looks of ill will affect us, stopping us from realizing our full potential in every area of our life.

Envy is the look I get when people’s eyes wander down to my crotch. Yea, you better believe what you’re staring at. Not only is it functional, but it was designed for shock and awe.