In other news

Angelina Jolie convinced Madonna to not adopt from the U.S. Instead, she encouraged her to buy a baby from Africa. Had Angelina talked to me when I went to buy a car, I wouldn’t have been stuck with this stupid tricycle. At least the tassels are pretty.

Anna Nicole has been evicted from her Bahamian home. Anna claims it was a gift from G. Ben Thompson (Anna slept with him), but Thompson says “Yea right” (she stopped sleeping him). If she is forced to move back to California, she might have to undergo a paternity test. I’ll be keeping a keen eye on this story as it unfolds because I have no life.

Madonna is going on Oprah tomorrow to talk about her adoption and defend herself against the latest claims that Yohane, David’s father, didn’t know she was taking him away forever. Right. She was going to return the kid after she spends 18 years on him. This isn’t some Disney movie Yohane.