Kevin Federline

Kevin Federline has gone back to partying just as fast as he deposited his filthy seed into Britney. Three weeks after the birth of SPF2 (I don’t remember the baby’s name and I don’t care enough to look it up), he showed up at Tao and booked a table for two nights .

“He was surrounded by women, was drinking a lot and dancing on the banquette. Every time one of the girls tried to take a picture, he freaked out and wouldn’t let them.”

K-Fed sure is the loving father. Why else would he leave his child to the mother wolf? We haven’t seen Britney or her kid for a while now. Is it possible that she mistook him for a ham? Only time will tell as we continue with the harrowing saga of the man with punctured condoms.

Also at the one year anniversary of Tao was Steve-O who was kicked out for stripping naked and jumping into the rose petal tubs where the pretty girls lounge. Do I even need to mention he peed in it? There’s something really wrong with this guy. Wait no, there’s something really wrong with the doorman if he didn’t see the note written in big red Sharpie that says “DO NOT LET IN STEVE-O. HE WILL PEE ON SOMETHING AND IT WON’T BE THE TOILET!”