Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey’s Saturday concert in Hong Kong has been canceled due to poor ticket sales and the performer’s unreasonable demands. Promoters say they ran a substantial advertising campaign, but only managed to sell 4,000 tickets. They declined to comment on what these unreasonable demands were so it’s up to me to play the guessing game.

We have seen Mariah requiring a personal straw holder for her drinks and also praising purple foods. My powers of deduction lead me to believe Mariah Carey requested someone to wipe her ass after giving her an enema. She may have also needed a foot long stick to replace the one currently up her ass.