Pamela Anderson

In absolutely shocking news, Pamela Anderson enjoys being an internet sex symbol because she wants people to have fun.

“I don’t mind sexy pictures of me being on sites. I think people know I’m a free spirit and like to have fun.”

Yet, Pamela was rattled after finding out a sex tape of her and Kid Rock had emerged on the net. A tape I’ve heard nothing about. A tape that will remain unseen to me as I’m reminded of her recent pictures. A tape that, if exists, should be kept hidden deep in the bowels of the internet and guarded more secretively than a snuff film. A tape that, when burned, will evoke the screams of Satan.