Paris Hilton

After the awesomeness of Shanna Moakler punching Paris in the face (it will never get old, never never), Paris broke it off with Travis Barker because “Paris realized this was not what she needed in her life right now.” And you people say this girl isn’t bright.

Continuing with the Paris / Nicole double news, MSNBC says Nicole Richie’s new man is Samuel Plouchart, a fashion editor at the French Magazine Citizen K. Nicole quipped “new boy, new look.” I think she’s serious.

Meanwhile, Brody Jenner, Nicole’s ex, confided that at the end of their relationship, she didn’t treat him like a friend or boyfriend, but he cared deeply and even tried to help Nicole with her weight problem. A source says:

“He tried to help her gain weight. When she’d eat a few bites and stop, he’d say, ‘Finish that!'”

As funny as that is, he should have followed it up with “You fat pig!” and stuffed a handful of cake in her mouth.