Paris Hilton

Nick Carter should write a book about Paris Hilton considering he’s so infatuated with telling all about her. The newest allegation has Paris smuggling pot in her holed out teddy bear.

“If she was going overseas she’d cut a hole in her teddy and stuff it with cannabis. She had to have her own private stash with her at all times regardless of the consequences.”

And also her sexual prowess.

“She relied heavily on drugs and drink to give her confidence in the bedroom and was more often than not too wasted to even perform.

“I lost count of the nights I had to pick her off the floor and drag her to bed passed out.

That’s funny. I remember this black market video of her getting pounded by some guy named Rick. She didn’t look passed out to me. I’m not saying it didn’t happen to him. I’d be dependent on drugs and drink if I was getting tuned out by the guy. But at that point, I would be seriously rethinking my definition of gay.

This reminds me of a joke. What’s worse than Paris Hilton? Bragging about sleeping with Paris Hilton and then telling a new secret about her every week to get PR for some lame show. The punchline is Nick Carter. Fuck, I’m really bad at jokes.