Paris Hilton

At the Playboy Halloween party, Paris and Nicky were the center of attention. Paris danced on a table while lip-syncing to her single, Stars Are Blind.

The reaction is now always the same – her posse of sycophants surrounds her, cheering her, as most people groan,” said our witness. “This is really getting old.”

Nicky’s plan was a little different. She was

“being bent over backwards against the stage by a height-challenged young man as she wrapped a leg around his hip and they played tonsil hockey. She later spent an hour crawling under the tables (apparently) looking for a lost purse. When upright, she was stumbling all over . . . as she was fondled everywhere but the bottoms of her feet by the little ‘dance’ partner .

When people finally invent a time machine and travel back to our time, they’ll step out, stare at the Hiltons for 5 seconds, shake their heads, leave and never come back. The Hilton sisters are jerks. People of the future. Come back. I need the winning lottery numbers. Nooooo.