Tom and Katie are getting married

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have decided on a November 18 wedding in Italy. Katie Holmes will be wearing a wedding dress made by Giorgio Armani. And me? I’ll be sitting at home not caring. I’d rather pour bleach in my eyes than listen to more of this “TomKat” thing. You’d be bitter too if you didn’t get an invitation. I thought we were friends Tom. How can you use me like this? Ahhh, those ugly as hell sunglasses. What moron thought it was cool to have sunglasses that cover half your face?