Hilary Duff and Joel Madden are over

Joel Madden made a guest appearance at Enclave and said Hilary Duff broke up with him due to problems arising from their 8 year age difference. It’s hard to say what kind of problems 27 year old Madden was having with 19 year old Duff. I think Madden started freaking out when Duff started getting her period. It’s the first time he’s heard “I need a tampon” from any of his girlfriends.

Not even Madden’s equine tendencies could convince him to overlook the fact that after searching so hard for a girl that could pass as a boy, Hilary’s breasts started developing and those linebacker shoulders turned into something more feminine. Poor Joel. Maybe his bro can buy him a pony and a new makeup kit to cheer him up.