In other news

Here’s a blast from the past. A quote from Mark Hoppus of Blink-182.

“At a concert I said, ‘Hey, all you guys out there – I want you to know that my mom gives great head.’ I look over and she’s pumping her fist in the air going, ‘That’s me.'”

Awkward…

Barbra Streisand was doing her George Bush shtick again when someone threw a cup of liquid at her and missed. I bet it wasn’t even acid. People can’t do anything right.

This is the best and most useful Halloween costume…EVER. I just hope everything is connected right and breast milk doesn’t come out because I’d have my mouth attached to the spigot the whole night.

Some bum named Harry Judd wants to go to great lengths to prove he’s slept with Lindsay Lohan. He even wants to take a lie detector test. Why? I don’t see the 200 other people Lindsay’s slept with bragging about it. I mean, congratulations on being the 201st penis there, but making this a momentous thing is like mommy and daddy celebrating their babie’s 201st step or me banging a supermodel for the 945th time.

Paris Hilton is saying her slutty ways is just an act. When she puts that penis in her mouth? An act. When she’s fingered in the last row of a movie theater? Just an act. When she’s making out with anybody willing to risk an STD? An act.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to have a traditional Scientology wedding. One element of a Scientology wedding. Refer to the bride only as “girl” or “you.” Scientology sounds pretty sweet.

Hayden Panettiere of Heroes needs a new pose. No, really. She does. XOXO