Kirsten Dunst

From the Star newsletter, Kirsten Dunst might be pregnant with something. They probably need DNA tests for this, but I can tell those doctors that it’s not from this planet.

Kirsten Dunst has been generating rumors that she may be the next famous actress to be sporting a baby bump on the set of her upcoming film Spiderman 3. She has been spotted wearing baggy clothing, ordering big boxes of sweet chocolaty treats, and overheard complaining of lower back pain and nausea during filming. Her rep denies that these tell-tale signs are signaling that Kirsten is a mom-to-be, but her interest in co-star Tobey Maguire’s newborn daughter suggests otherwise. Kirsten has become fascinated by details about the pregnancy of Tobey’s fiancé, Jennifer Meyer, asking how she dealt with morning sickness. When Tobey replied that Jennifer felt awful throughout the entire nine months, Kirsten just groaned, “Oh great!”

I wonder what it will be. A badger? A sabretooth? Is it even going to be a mammal? Does she even give a live birth or does she lay eggs? They can make a whole issue of National Geographic with this pregnancy. I doubt this is real though. What guy would stick their penis in her without a condom. They might as well have just stuck it in a shotgun and pulled the trigger. It would probably end up looking the same as it would coming out of Kirsten Dunst.

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