Nicole Kidman

My sources tell me that Nicole Kidman is pregnant with her first child. Congrats go out to our lucky Aussie superstar. Labor shouldn’t be too hard for her, as she’ll be pushing out a 50cc bottle of botox. Keith Urban either has hardy sperm or Tom Cruise is just shooting blanks because we all know Suri Cruise isn’t his. Or maybe it’s because Nicole was never graced by Tom’s penis. Seeing as how she’s a girl and all. This is going to be Nicole’s first real child. She already has two adopted children with Tom Cruise.