Paris Hilton

My respect for England is rising. First Lindsay Lohan was booed offstage at the World Music Awards. Now comes word of Paris Hilton almost being punched in the face again. It began at a World Music Awards after party setup by Vanity Fair. Paris ordered her handlers to get guests to step back so she could dance on the seats or as I like to call it, shaking the crabs loose. She left one guest pissed off enough to throw ice at her. Paris got pissed herself and thought Sharleen Spiteri, of the pop-rock band Texas, threw the ice. Paris then lunged towards her and screamed,

What the fuck did you do, you fucking ugly idiot?

Sharleen didn’t back down and was about to pop Paris in the face for the second time in her life before Paris’ handlers broke up the fight. Then Paris turned on her handlers and started bitching again.

Why the fuck didn’t you stop this? You saw they were throwing ice. Why are you here at all when you can’t see this? Fucking idiot.

Great idea Paris. Insult the guys who stopped you from getting knocked on your ass. I’m sure that’ll get them to develop that eagle eye needed to protect you next time. In fact, go yell at the people who pay you money and comp you and your clown feet. The louder you yell, the more money and freebies you get. What works even better is if you roll on the floor like a baby while crying and slam your fists into the ground. But for you Paris, I’ve decided to reveal the most effective technique. Slam your forehead into the ground. Repeatedly.

Here’s the privileged baby at the premiere of Casino Royale. Who keeps inviting her to events?

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