Lindsay Lohan

Gee, I didn’t see this one coming. Lindsay Lohan is set to play a stripper in her upcoming movie I Know Who Killed Me. Part of her training includes learning how to pole dance and as a result she is bruised all over. An email from Lindsay Lohan reads:

“They’re all whores, they’re all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!” Lohan wrote in the note, “So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we’re talkin’ like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark.

“I mean really though, really, I didn’t know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cunts now. . . I’m not gonna lie to ya.”

Lindsay Lohan judging strippers. Right. The girl who shows her vagina for shits and giggles is calling strippers whores. It’s like I’m in some other dimension where people are actually more retarded than I thought. Further proof comes from Lohan’s publicist Leslie Sloane.

Her character is a stripper, and she now realizes that the job isn’t easy. We should give these women credit.

We’re talking about strippers here. Not some Fields Medalist. I pay these girls $20 to grind my junk and stuff fake Monopoly money in their g-string. But for some reason they don’t fawn over me when I say, “So…your self-esteem must be pretty low huh? Wanna take this back to my parents’ house?” Whatever. I didn’t want an std tonight anyway.