Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan lays out her life plan in an email and she wants to enlist Al Gore to help her. Sent to friends and lawyers, it’s just a bunch of incoherent babbling.

“Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let’s find out. Hilary [sic] Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan Metroplis [sic], and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK.”

Invoking what she puzzlingly calls the “way of the future-Howard Hughes,” her desire is to “release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press.”

Lohan says she wants to state her opinions on “how our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people . . . because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see.”

If you needed any proof Lohan is on drugs, this would be it. The crazy guy at McDonalds who’s always talking about smearing feces over the bathroom wall wrote something more coherent than this. It said “I love you. Together forever.” and had a picture of a serrated knife through a heart. Yep. That’s me. Mr. Popular.