Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart was on Howard Stern last week talking about her life in and out of prison. She called her $1,200 vibrator a “very good tool” and while in prison was asked out on dates by some of the inmates. Martha says she ran into “girls with mustaches and girls with beards [who] would ask me for lunch.”

I didn’t think I’d ever imagine Martha Stewart with a vibrator in my lifetime and she pretty much destroyed my fantasy of women in prison. Why not just tell me Santa Claus is a convicted sex offender or Jessica Alba is a man? Or hey, rip out my genitals because I won’t ever be using them again.