Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman was just named the highest paid actress in Hollywood. Her upcoming movie The Invasion earned her $17 million and she has replaced Julia Roberts as the No. 1 highest paid actress on the Hollywood Reporter‘s list. An interesting note is that Julia Roberts didn’t even appear in the top 10 even though she was No. 1 for four years in a row. It’s likely casting agents realized she was so damn ugly that she’d need $5 million in makeup alone. The Reporter’s list looks something like this:

1. Nicole Kidman, $16 million-$17 million
2. Reese Witherspoon, $15 million
3. Renee Zellweger, $15 million
4. Drew Barrymore, $15 million
5. Cameron Diaz, $15 million
6. Halle Berry, $14 million
7. Charlize Theron, $10 million
8. Angelina Jolie, $10 million
9. Kirsten Dunst, $8 million-$10 million
10. Jennifer Aniston, $8 million

There’s 4 or 5 people on the list who don’t look like their face was smashed mercilessly with a shovel. And that’s a generous number. I think someone just made up the list at the last minute.

Back to Nicole Kidman because I’m all about Nicole. Following reports that she is either fat or pregnant, she has denied the latter.

“One minute I’m being told I’m too thin, the next I’m told I’m fat and it must be because I’m expecting a baby. It’s very confusing”Â? laments Kidman. “My mom rang me up and said, ‘Are you pregnant?’ And I said, ‘No, Mom, you’d be the first to know.’ And we just laughed about it because there’s not much else you can do.”

No, there is something you can do. Quit making your uterus expand and deflate and we’ll all be good.