Scarlett Johansson is a fatty

Straight or gay, every guy wants a piece of Scarlett Johansson. Sadly, she’s just another in a long line of starlets who feels she could be skinnier. Sexy Scarlett says,

“I have fat days and accept that I’m never going to be real thin.”

She also finds it hard to live up to her sex symbol image.

“I know what I look like when I wake up in the morning after three hours sleep. Sometimes I feel, ‘OK, this is a good day’, and other times I wake up and think, ‘Oh my God, I need a hat today.’”

If Scarlett is fat, then I will pork that piggy till kingdom come. I’ll grip her love handles like I was on a roller coaster and she’ll never stop squealing until the ride is over. But seriously, I’ll probably stab my throat (yes, there was a lot of stabbing today) if she turns into Nicole Richie or any one of those god forsaken bag of antlers. Ugh, it’s so hard to make it through a Scarlett Johansson article these days with all the drool coming out of my mouth. My god, look how she grips that mic. I don’t think my sentences are even coherent anymore.