There will be no Christmas wedding

Reps have denied a Christmas wedding for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The story of them marrying in South Africa was all made up. A source says:

Oprah would not be invited to their wedding. They are not that close.

No one invites Oprah to anything. She was seen with a single tear rolling down her cheek when she read this. Her lips started quivering, but someone managed to direct her towards a buffet and all was right again. It’s a shame there aren’t more endings as happy as this.