Heidi Klum

What the hell is going on? This is what came out of Heidi Klum’s womb? The name Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel is fitting. It’s just as weird as the kid. She already got two chances. They say third time’s a charm right? I don’t think she should chance it. I blame Seal. In Gala magazine, Heidi explains how they came up with the name.

It’s a Nigerian tradition to have lots of names. My husband has nine names. He wanted to carry on this tradition. We thought Johan is a traditional and strong name with a wonderful ring to it. That is why we chose this name. Riley is just a name we really liked. Fyodor is the name of a close friend of Seal’s who died shortly before Johan’s birth. And Taiwo was the name of Seal’s great-great-grandfather who founded the city of Lagos in Nigeria. His full name was “Chief Taiwo Owolow.” So that makes Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel all together.

Just blame Seal for the name too. This is disappointing. Seal is also saying the baby looks a lot like Heidi did when she was a baby. Now he’s trying to put this on her. Take some responsibility man. 50% of the genes came from you. I think this is why they invented baby sacrifices.

Heidi Klum