Hugh Hefner is gallant

The 81-year-old dinosaur Hugh Hefner wants to impregnate Holly. It’s no wonder why he’s king of the castle with these endearing words,

I don’t know if at this age it is physically possible but we’ve certainly talked about it and it’s certainly a possibility. She certainly has my heart, so maybe she’ll have my sperm too!

Funny, I didn’t think Hugh could get it up still. I imagine his penis would turn to dust if anyone touched it. It would probably crumble away like the dignity his girlfriends once had. Although according to this book, Hugh can still maintain an erection with the help of Viagra. Hugh has also made Wednesdays and Fridays at the Playboy mansion sex night where he watches gay porn while having unprotected sex with 10 girls in a row.

How is a man who’s 78 years old able to have sex with that many women?
He doesn’t really do anything. He just lies there with his Viagra erection. It’s just a fake erection, and each girl gets on top of him for two minutes while the girls in the background try to keep him excited. They’ll yell things like, “F-k her daddy, f-k her daddaddy!” There’s a lot of cheerleader going on!

After the two minutes are up what happens?
The main girlfriend wipes off his penis. She’s the girl who actually shares the bed with him. She sleeps there all night. She’s around 22 years old. He uses all the same girls. She’s been there for three years now.

That’s actually pretty sad. I do around 20 girls on an off night. I guess not everyone can be a stud like me. Although I do admit it becomes tiring sometimes. Some nights I shake my fists in the air and curse God for making me so beautiful and giving me this superhuman endurance.