Britney Spears

Kevin Federline is urging ex-wife Britney Spears to check into rehab before it’s too late. He has even teamed up with Britney’s mother to convince Britney to get help before she hurts herself. Kevin, being the concerned father that he is, worries that Britney isn’t spending enough time with their kids and claims they are being raised by strangers.

“Kevin has tried to convince Britney to check herself into rehab from every possible angle. First he tried threatening to take away the kids, then he tried pleading with her to take care of herself.”

How much money Kevin? $50 million? $100 million? Is it just the desire to stay relevant? It’s doubtful you even know the names of the two kids. No, it’s not shawty, shorty or anything like that. And they’re better off being taken care of by strangers anyway. Drawing from what I’ve seen in movies, they’re being raised by an illegal immigrant and now already know two languages, which is more than Britney could ever do for them. I heard one time she came home so drunk, she mistook one of them for a Butterball turkey and almost stuck him in the oven. True story.