Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan checked herself into a Los Angeles hospital for a rare case of stupidity. As a cover, reports say she’s having her appendix removed because of, get this, appendicitis.

I don’t want to sound cruel, but if the doctors were to forget to apply anesthesia and maybe sneak a video camera in during the operation, then I’d be willing to part with a fair sum of money for the tape. Say, oh I don’t know, twenty bucks? It could buy a hell of a lot of those latex gloves they wear. I’ll even throw in a couple of lollipops. This offer won’t be on the table for long, so they’d better take it fast.