Lindsay Lohan might have a bad liver

The National Enquirer might have a believable tale regarding Lindsay Lohan’s liver. The story they have is that while Lindsay was undergoing her appendectomy, doctors discovered her drinking has damaged her liver. They fluff it up with some voodoo phrases like elevated enzymes and blood work. Basically they’re saying excessive drinking kills the liver. Me and my bottle of Bacardi respectfully disagree. We think it’s a scam doctors use to con money out of hard working folk like us. Need a new liver my ass. The human body was meant to turn yellow, even in the eyes man!

Here’s Lindsay Lohan running around in her bikini while some creepy guy with a big grin on his face stares at her. I think I saw him on that Dateline show.