Oprah Winfrey

Oprah built a $40 million school complex in South Africa. When asked why she didn’t build it in the U.S., Oprah basically said American kids did not deserve it. The fatty explains,

“I became so frustrated with visiting inner-city schools that I just stopped going. The sense that you need to learn just isn’t there. If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don’t ask for money or toys. They ask for uniforms so they can go to school.”

Those damn materialistic Americans with their gadgets. So, what are some things these underprivileged South Africans can expect at the Oprah School for Poor Girls? A yoga studio and a beauty salon. Now they can be poor, bendy and pretty. This’ll probably help them when they’re swatting away flies from their bodies. They can use their feet too!

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