Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton skipped out on her bill at Sloanes Café in Australia. She ate half a hamburger, but didn’t pay for her mineral water and frappe which amounted to $9.80. Later, she went shopping with Kim Kardashian and dropped $2750 on lingerie.

Don’t blame Paris. She’s an idiot by nature. Paris would keep forgetting her panties had her publicist not stapled a note to her vagina that read, “PANTIES=GOOD!” Think about it. There’s not much real estate up in that head. Filling it with useless niceties like paying for food could in fact push other important information out like using birth control. $10 or mini-Paris sluts running around? There’s a right answer to this one and I hear you’ll get caned if you can’t figure it out.