Eminem and Kim are getting married again

Update: That was fast. Dennis Dennehy, a rep for Eminem, tells PEOPLE: “Those reports are absolutely untrue.”

The most retarded couple ever are engaged again according to rapper and Eminem friend Akon. He describes their relationship as on and off like explosive diarrhea.

“He can’t live with her and he can’t live without her. But they are meant for each other. They are engaged again.”

Between Eminem’s song about killing Kim and Kim’s attempted suicide, I always knew these two kids would get back together. Like the old saying goes, it’s not love until you strangle a blow-up doll symbolizing your wife in front of a hometown audience of thousands. I can’t wait until they do their spread in Modern Bride Magazine.