Paris Hilton

Members of GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) are outraged after having seen footage of Paris and Nicky spouting words such as “faggot” and “nigger” with no inhibitions. They are demanding a public apology and contend there’s no difference whether it was filmed recently or five years ago. President Neil G. Giuliano says,

“When Paris Hilton utters these words into a camera, it creates a permanent record that… she must bear responsibility for. These are not frivolous words, and to use them as if they are gives tacit sanction to the racism and homophobia they engender. Hilton has an obligation to go on the record, explain herself, and publicly apologise to the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) and African American communities and all those offended by these slurs.”

There’s nothing I would love more than seeing Paris get what she deserves. Which is why I don’t think an apology is enough. I suggest removing all her eggs to prevent any accidental breeding as it’s a well known fact Paris is a cum magnet. Legend has it that whenever men want to find Paris Hilton, they can use their man juices as a compass.