James Blunt Petra Nemcova

The LAPD have opened an investigation into a hit and run by James Blunt and Petra Nemcova. Several witnesses claim James ran over the leg of an autograph seeker with his SUV as he pulled out of a Hollywood party with girlfriend Friday night. LAPD have yet to identify the driver despite paparazzi pictures showing James Blunt in the driver’s seat. Way to go LAPD.

Meanwhile, P. Diddy is being investigated by the LAPD for assaulting a guy at an Oscar party. Around 2 AM at the Roosevelt Hotel, Gerard Rechnitzer was walking to the bathroom when he noticed his fiancee was surrounded by six men including Combs. Mr. Mouth Breather chatted up his girlfriend for five minutes before Gerard asked her to leave with him. Diddy invited the woman to his party and Gerard once again asked his girlfriend to leave with him. At that point, Sean Combs punched Rechnitzer in the jaw.

These guys should have been locked up ages ago. Sean Combs because he’s obnoxious and can’t close his mouth. James Blunt because he’s some sort of warlock who uses magical powers to trick supermodels into sleeping with him. It’s a skill I would learn, but this damn spell book is written in Latin. Oh wait, the book was upside down. And as it turns out, it’s not a spell book, it’s a Playboy magazine. I guess that explains why my pants are around my ankles.