Anna Nicole

Alexander Denk has come forth to profess his belief that he may indeed be the father of Dannielynn. The former bodyguard of Anna Nicole Smith confesses to having an affair with the Trimspa figurehead. This makes five possible fathers. Six if you count the Bahamian guy.

What I’m gathering from all this is Anna Nicole was a human sperm bank. Can you imagine what went on in her vagina? I picture a huge sperm party with funny hats and piñatas. Then the unthinkable happened. You guys may think it was the drugs that killed Anna Nicole, but it was actually the Great Sperm Revolt of 2007. It laid waste to her uterus which resulted in her death. We will never forget.

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