O.J. Simpson was still paid

O.J. Simpson doesn’t care what’s been said in the press about his book because he still got paid. Simpson tells a Florida newspaper he hoped the book would never come out.

“It made it look too much like an admission of guilt,” Simpson said to the Palm Beach Post. “I wasn’t happy with the hypothetical paragraphs. A ghostwriter wrote the whole thing, and I OK’d it. But there were a lot of inaccuracies about the case and about how I would have done things. But I figure I’d let it go since I didn’t kill anyone.”

I’m going to get O.J. a Burger King crown and scepter for being a prince among men. It’s not often you read about someone with such high moral standards. If Mother Theresa were alive, she’d trek across the Mojave desert just to ask O.J. for advice. I can save her some time. The answer is “Bleach. Lots and lots of bleach.”