Tara Reid falls

Tara Reid weaseled her way into walking the red carpet at the Ocean Drive Magazine/Market America party over the Super Bowl weekend. Lucky for us the completely inept human jizz stain missed a step and fell into the sand. Even luckier, someone got a picture (banner photo). Golf claps could be heard throughout the audience. Being the classy lady that she is, an embarrassed Tara yelled at her friends, “You guys fucking tripped me.” despite the fact that they were five feet away.

Ms. Reid should be advised that it’s not going to be easy to find new friends. Unless some guy is looking for a late night penis warmer, the only one up for the job will be me. Granted, I would be a friend only in name and I would find a way to violently shove her into a wall at every photographed event, but at least we could laugh about it. Well, I could anyway.

But I digress. Tara finally composed herself and attempted to enter the backstage VIP section at the Pontiac event later that night where Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony (real celebrities) were mingling. She was flat out denied. There’s no news on where she went after. Although, there were a few reports of a crying, drunk blonde girl stumbling into a hardware store and leaving with about four feet of rope.

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