ESC

Anna Nicole Smith’s funeral is happening

I thought this was some sort of joke. Just read it. Anna Nicole arrived to the church in a pimped out hearse with elaborate chrome rims. Inside, her casket is covered with pink marabou and streamers. Outside the church, a giant jib camera is swooping over the steeple and the red carpet leading into the church. Anna Nicole’s mother, Virgie Arthur, failed in a last ditch effort to stop the funeral.

Inside, several hundred of Anna Nicole’s friends paid their respects. Her coffin was then moved to Lake View Cemetery for burial. That’s when the real show began. Howard K. Stern plunged a closed fist into Anna’s chest, took out her heart, ate it and screamed, “I am reborn! Muahahahhaha! Trimspa baby!”

Update: Slash and Hulk Hogan were among the attendees.

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