Paris Hilton

Courtney Love writes on her website that there was a mountain of white powder in the bathroom at Paris Hilton’s birthday party. This would be the same party where Brandon Davis threatened to squirt all over her. Following this news, the head of the Foundation for Jewish Camping is questioning whether Paris and Nicole are fit to be camp counselors for the next season of The Simple Life.

“Counselors are trained, recruited, and tested,” said Jerry Silverman. “We take [it] very seriously.”

Wait a minute. I think Jerry Silverman needs to take a step back and think about the entertainment value. In one episode, these dumbasses are going to be staring into their compacts while some kid drowns. In another, they’ll be calling each other bitches while a kid severs his finger with a saw. And if any of them have a headache, Paris will have them do a line of coke off her ass crack because according to her, it’s the adult Tylenol.