Johnny Depp

Pirates of the Caribbean star, Johnny Depp, will not return to acting until his daughter Lily-Rose fully recovers from blood poisoning. Filming for his latest film, Sweeney Todd, has been on hold ever since Lily was admitted to the hospital.

Staff at Pinewood Studios, Bucks, have now been told they will be laid off at the weekend unless Depp, 43, returns. The plan is to re-employ everybody when she is better.

One time at recess I asked my buddies not to start playing basketball until I got back from the bathroom and they did. What I’m trying to say is that I’m just like Johnny Depp and you should respect me because I’m better than you. Hey! Where are you going? Did I say you could leave?