Naomi Campbell

Naomia Campbell has been sentenced to sweep floors at a New York City public building as punishment for throwing a diamond encrusted cellphone at her maid. The supermodel feels very remorseful and is now in therapy every day.

If you’re in New York, you should pay Naomi Campbell a visit. Make sure to “accidentally” tip over her bucket of soapy water. Also make sure your shoes are sufficiently covered in mud before you walk into the building. Naomi will think you’re flirting with her. I promise she’ll let out a little giggle and tell you how much of a joker you are. Maybe even ask you out on a date. There’s only a small chance she’ll snap the broom in half over her thigh and give you twice the beating of a normal broom.