Petra James

People have confirmed that James Blunt and Petra Nemcova split in February which lends more credence to the Blunt and Lohan rumor. They say the split was very amicable. Sure, if by amicable you mean James Blunt was clinging to Petra’s leg begging her not to leave. I could hear James shouting from where I live, “Please don’t leave me! Who will love me now? I’m the Elephant Man!” Then I heard he put a paper bag over his head and ran out crying, but knocked himself out after he charged into a telephone pole because he forgot to cut out little holes for his beady eyes. James Blunt is ugly.