Two bodyguards have been hired to protect Sienna Miller from a tranny stalker. The stalker, Peter, loves to wear women’s wigs, high-heeled stilettos, fake fur coats and dresses. How delectable!
“Sienna has been bombarded with bizarre letters from a transvestite and has hired two security men. In his letters he talks about being obsessed with her look. He tries to follow her everywhere. The poor girl hasn’t been sleeping properly because she has been so scared. Things just got to the point that she just had to take extra care of herself.”
That’s it? Oh please, this isn’t news at all. Don’t act like he was chasing you with a 13 inch galvanized dildo. He’s just your average run-of-the-mill stalker. Even I’ve had one. She followed me everywhere I went. Always collecting my underwear like a pervert. One day she was daring enough to wrap her arms around me. “Get away from me you crazy brute,” I screamed. She giggled and started squeezing harder. I think she was trying to cave in my lungs. I busted out my karate and roundhouse kicked her head. Come to think of it, that’s around the time I was put up for adoption. What an odd coincidence.
Oh? I thought she was the tranny.
It’s hard to tell sometimes. The only way to find out is to hit them in the crotch and see who goes down first.
Peter sounds lovely.
Sienna does contextual ads good – I’m seeing one for “urinary incontinence” right now. Ha!