Kate Beckinsale

I can’t tell you if these pictures are old or not because there have been a billion pictures of Kate Beckinsale getting into a pool and they all blend together in one sticky mess. I can tell you that Kate Beckinsale has a bruise — or a mole? — on her abdomen which can’t be good. I’d suggest Mr. Len Wiseman stop beating on defenseless women. She can’t help it if I literally charmed the pants off her. It’s a gift. Take comfort in the fact she isn’t the first and won’t be the last (assuming my stash of sleeping pills doesn’t run out and if they do, well, then, there goes my sex life.)

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