Kirsten Dunst

Kirsten Dunst showed up at the Spider-Man 3 premiere in London looking like a vampire. I thought only little kids wore those plastic fangs. Oh, those are her real teeth. Oops.

Later, Kirsten Dunst skipped the official after-party to drunkenly stumble around town with her rocker boyfriend Johnny Borrell. Judging by the banner pic and the Daily Mail, the two imbibed whatever alcohol was thrown their way. Which makes total sense because the only way a guy would ever have sex with this fug monster is when they’re drunk. And not just blurry vision drunk; hallucinating drunk. Like that time I was so wasted I thought my reflection was Angelina Jolie. I was so ashamed of myself the next day. I usually don’t put out that fast.

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